Part 1: Raising Well-rounded Christlike Children

INTRODUCTION

The world we live in now is one that if we don’t teach our children right and this being done by the parents; the “world” would teach them and trust me, they’ll learn and that they will do very fast.

Many parents have left the spiritual schooling of their children to the children classes of their churches. (Don’t get me wrong, some children classes in some churches are just so sweet, you can almost go to sleep. Hehehe)

These days you see a 2year old holding a KJV and I wonder if that child understands it. Even me as an adult doesn’t comprehend it majority of the time. Then at home, same KJV. How about using a Montessorri system of learning to teach these children about God and about the Bible?

Children comprehend better when they see. Have you ever asked yourself why your child is so glued to the children’s channel on your TV or a children video on these electronic devices? It’s because, it is colorful. Children love colors. They don’t like those black and white bibles you give them to carry.

How about children bible based comics? I grew up reading those comics and trust me, I could tell stories of Gideon, Joseph, and others based on the comics not because I knew where they were in the Bible.

With this I welcome you to this series.

God bless you.

* This series on “Raising well rounded Christlike Children” is for parents with children between ages 0-7 specifically but applicable to all age groups.

Loyalty: When to be

Hello Beautiful people.

Welcome to my blog once again. Today, I am writing on another good topic that has found a way to choke us in these current times. We are talking today about Loyalty.

First things first, what is Loyalty?

According to Collins Dictionary,

Loyalty is is the quality of staying firm in your friendship or support for someone or something.
Other words for loyalty are commitment, allegiance, devotion, faithfulness etc.

In the times that we live in, we’ve come to see that loyalty is one thing that people seem to do or pursue with eyes closed. Or rather, with eyes wide open but with an attitude as to why they’ll close it anyway. For me, I can say I am loyal to friends and family with my eyes and mind wide open. I do not let the loyalty blindfold me or silence me. I believe that if I am loyal to someone or something, I should be their eyes on the back, their physical conscience and I must be open to the fact that that thing can change.

I’ll give you a profound example, there are two farms I purchase my food produce from. One is on the mainland and has everything I need. The other is on the island and has somethings I need. I got to start patronizing the mainland farm before I discovered the island farm. Because of my location, many atimes when I buy from Farm M, the produce cannot stand the long drive in the sun and multiple deliveries before getting to me. This has lead me to always finding a way to salvage some or waste money by throwing it in the trash.

Now, Farm I happens to have this exact same produce and because the distance is short, I always get them very fresh and in reasonable quantity. I decided to leave out those produces whenever I buy from Farm M and instead have only those that can survive the long journey. Here, it is absolutely unwise to be playing the loyalty card and throwing away hard earned money. I’m sure, you will be the first to ask me if something is wrong with me. Hehehehe. Now I have saved myself the stress of salvaging and saved myself money.

Like my example, for some of you, there are some kind of loyalties you are in that would cost you so much and if care is not taken cost you your conscience. You are in a place and you find out that you aren’t making any progress, but you still remain all because of loyalty. How about knowing the truth of a particular matter but because the person involved is your friend, you choose to stay loyal? How about not being loyal for once? Well, thank God, we all have power over our choices.

The story of David and Jonathan as recorded in the Bible in 1 Samuel 19:1-7 (Please read it) is one that was impressed in my heart as I got the nudge to write on this topic. Jonathan here, had to choose when and how to play his loyalty card. Saul, his father was planning to kill his friend David. And yes we hear the “family first” rule and how we should always be loyal to the family, good or bad being shouted everywhere. In fact, I also do shout it. But this right here is an example where the “family first” loyalty card wasn’t used. In fact, it should never even be thought of being used. It was a life over loyalty.

Don’t get me wrong, Loyalty is good, it is beautiful. The Bible teaches on it and encourages it. Check Proverbs, it loaded with wisdom about this guy call Loyalty. One think remains constant, it’s a tool that was designed to be used for only GOOD but just like many good things, it has become a tool used for bad too.

Think about these:

  • “How many people have played the loyalty cards in life and lost?”
  • “How many have turned deaf ears and blind eyes to the truth all because of loyalty?”
  • “What are you loyal to that is costing you negatively? Is it a person, something, a place, a church, etc?”
  • “Why remain loyal till you lose it all and subsequently lose your soul?”

Ask yourself today, “Is it costing me my peace, my joy, my conscience, my voice, my money, my sanity, the truth, etc?”

In the beautiful life, loyalty is good when you can speak the truth and stand up for what’s right, true and beautiful. So if you cannot tell that friend the truth they so dearly need to hear to become a better person, why remain loyal? Or let me put it this way, if you are surrounded by irons that aren’t sharpening yours, what are you doing there? Or you have friends who cannot tell you the truth about many things? Why are you still having them around? That’s not Loyalty, that is something else.

Note and Remember this. There are people who will only be critical of you to destruction, run from them. They aren’t loyal, they are simply jealous and envious. Their truth is not the truth.

Finally, Choose your loyalty cards wisely. Know when you should be.

Blessings.

Living with People: The good and beautiful, the bad and ugly.

Hello Beautiful(s),

How are you all doing? Today I am sharing on a habit some of us have had one or more opportunities of exhibiting at some point in our lives. This post is as real as it can get. It by no means celebrates perfection but imperfections which make us humans and can be corrected for beautiful results. So if you think you are as human as I am, read on. Hehehehe.

Living with people can be one of two things. It can either be sweet and beautiful or exhausting and sour. I’ve had people live with me, I’ve lived with people and I’ve heard of people who lived with people. Hehehe. I have had sweet experiences and sour experiences. I’ve also heard of sweet experiences and sour experiences too.

Which ever role you attain in this matter, please be a good one. There exist responsibilities for both the host and the guest. There are also “common sense” obligations expected as well. Maturity is not in number but in character and behavior I must say. When I had my children, I stayed with a family because I needed help after baby was born but I ensured I helped in whatever way I could while I was there before and after babies arrived.

While it can be either sweet or sour to stay with or accommodate someone, each party must know the boundaries.

As a host:

  • Respect your guest.
  • Respect his or her privacy. If he or she would stay in a particular room, take whatever you need out of there to avoid always going in and out. (This is different if it’s a family member. Knock before entering or ask them to bring what you need for you)
  • Don’t go snooping in his or her things. That’s so bad and ewww.
  • Don’t try to make them do everything you do, how you do it. Leave them to make use of their “common sense.”
  • Don’t force them to accept your beliefs. Live by example as a great host and if you must say something, say it in love.
  • If you have children, make it a rule that they do not go into the guest room even if invited by the guest.
  • The list goes on but I’ll stop here.

As a guest:

  • Respect your host.
  • Respect their privacy. Be limited to your room and the public spaces like the Living, Dining and Kitchen (if they are comfortable with you entering their kitchen)
  • Don’t go drinking and eating everything you didn’t buy. Even if it’s your family member, courtesy demands that you ask before taking or you take “reasonably” and mention.
  • If you are staying beyond a regular visit, and you have the means to, buy somethings (like bread, water, provisions and even food produce) once in a while to show you appreciate their hospitality even if they say, “you shouldn’t have.” It goes on to show that you are responsible. It’s not compulsory, it’s just common sense.
  • Help around the house like cleaning and doing the dishes. Most importantly clean your room. Fold your clothes, clean your bathroom. It is not an hotel and there is no housekeeping.
  • Don’t eat in your room or living room except in exceptional situations (That’s the purpose of the dining) Clean where you eat and wash your plates. If you are a woman and your host is comfortable with you cooking once in a while while she is out and busy, help. After all, you will eat from the food. Once again, it’s not compulsory, it’s just common sense.
  • If there are children in the home, don’t always have them in your room. If they want to be around you, stay in the living room.
  • When you are leaving after your stay, clean up behind you. You met a clean room and bathroom, keep it so.
  • The list goes on but I’ll stop here.

We can all live beautifully and happily if we know our roles and do our part. While I can stay with the worst of host and try hard to maintain my sanity, I do not have all the grace some people have in hosting. But, when I do, I pat myself on the back and say “Well done, you did well.” Mind you, I can get very irritated easily if my privacy is compromised both as a host and a guest. Anyone will. I bless God because he has blessed me with guests who have become family and have been so helpful to me. So basically, I’ve had more sweet than sour experiences. *smiles*

Okay, thanks for reading from me again and next time we’ll talk about our healthy living lifestyle.

Healthy Lifestyle with Mrs. O’ : Introduction

Hello Beautiful(s),

How have you all been? Wow, you didn’t hear from me and you didn’t ask of me. *Sad Face* I have been so busy that I can’t even imagine how I am even awake posting this. I bless God for giving me yet another day with breath in my nostrils, a beating heart and an alert mind. Most of all I am thankful for the Trinity, I get my source from HIM.

Remember our motto for the year? INTENTIONAL! How intentional have you been so far? The fifth month is slowly winding up to give room for the sixth. If you haven’t been, it’s not late. Start today.

Today’s post is about taking charge of our body. It is a series that would run through June by God’s grace. Join the ride and let’s develop new habits that becomes a lifestyle. There would be interactive sessions on Facebook, do well to join the conversation.

Let me start by sharing a story with you all.

I always thought having pimples was a sign of being a big girl. When I was in 200L in University, I wished to have at least a pimple because I was tired of people wondering if I followed either my big Sis or Bro to school. Very funny right? I am short and then I do have a baby face, so you can imagine my frustration when I had to always say, “I am a student.” Then the next question becomes, “How old are you?” And before answering, another is asked, “When did you finish secondary school?”

Well, fast forward to when I now had pimples, it became so troubling for me as some could be tiny, yet so painful. I don’t wear makeup, so you will definitely see them. I have sensitive skin so using any facial products only made my face burn. *whispering* If you look through my wedding photos, you would see I had one or two pimple. *wide grin*

My boyfriend dearest (If you are new to my blog, first of all, Welcome!!! Thanks for visiting, please do subscribe and always visit. I am happily married and love to address my darling husband so) introduced me to smoothies, juicing and generally appreciating and eating of God’s blessing of nature’s produce. He even had and still often remind me its been long I had breakouts.

A healthy lifestyle has been attached to the rich and hence those who don’t see themselves as “rich” have chosen to neglect their health just because of this mindset. Mind you, I was just like that too but somehow, one way or the other, I had always loved my veggies perhaps, due to my creative spirit I always wanted to experiment in the kitchen, hence, I worked with what was always readily available and affordable.

You don’t need to be “rich” to have a healthy lifestyle, all you need is to be rich in your mind to work with what is readily available to you to achieve that.

While I don’t always know what the next month holds, till the end of the month, I am grateful to God who inspires me to pick on challenges that benefits and blesses me and my family and those who care to join.

June is tagged “GREEN JUNE.” We are intentional about our health and I invite you to join. What do you stand to loose? Weights, toxins, scruffy faces and lots more. Will it be easy? Absolutely NO. You have to work towards it because at some point, your head will disagree with your mind but then you have to realign your thoughts to see what your heart sees.

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I’ve said it before and I say it again, God desires that we stay healthy and this can be linked to creation. Why did God put man in a garden? Why not on the plain field or in the waters or even in heaven? What do you find in a garden as beautiful as Eden? Mainly beautiful edible things grown from the ground or in the ground.

John the Evangelist in the second verse of his third epistle, speaks the mind of God to us. “Dear friend, I hope all is well with you and that you are as healthy in body as you are strong in spirit.” (3 John 1:2 NLT)

So what do you think about a healthy lifestyle? It is very beautiful and also godly.

Until you read from me again on the next episode, do follow me on Instagram as I would be posting daily for accountability and sharing my recipes too when the challenge starts.

God bless you all and do have a beautiful weekend.

With Love.

CAESAREAN SECTION – A SUPERNATURAL DELIVERY

Hey!!!

Long time no post. Whew!!! It’s not been as simple as A B C for some time now. A lot on my plates that I had to attend to. Hopefully as the Lord helps me, I can be faithful to posting once or twice weekly. Let us grow this blog people!!! hehehe.

Okay, it’s been two months since the Caesarean section awareness held. I am so grateful to everyone who took their time to share their stories. While I hear of great testimonies from the awareness, I can only bless God for the opportunity.

Today, I want to say that the goal of the awareness was not to attack anyone or denomination, it was aimed at enlightening and informing. One thing, I can’t be more grateful to God for but bless Him, is the opportunity of discussing with an older friend on this same topic and I am so glad he took the step of faith to have his wife have a supernatural delivery.

Losing someone so very close and dear to me to the cold hands of death at childbirth is one that has lived with me and would live with me. Now, enough is enough of losing precious mums and babies to the cold hands of death due to the fact that they have been made to understand that CS is not the normal way of delivery and it doesn’t term them being Hebrew women. Have you ever asked yourself how the Hebrew women give birth? (a topic I would discuss in another post). God is the creator of every invention and creation. God has blessed Men and Women with knowledge to save lives. If you are a medical practitioner as a christian and in a position to save lives by the knife, won’t you? I see what I do as a ministry and I believe also that saving lives is a ministry you are called to. So it pains me deeply to see Christian Doctors, who are ministers, tell those they lead to have faith and not approve of CS.

If you can go to have an appendectomy done, why can’t a pregnant woman have a C-Section done? You do not mind taking drugs for an ailment or having surgery done to remove fibroid but it becomes a sin for a woman to have CS. She becomes a faithless woman by that. Oh how I wish you had an idea of how much faith she has to exercise – in God first, then in the doctor and all the caregivers around her. In the drugs she has to take that they will indeed relieve her of her pains to be able to move around as soon as possible and most importantly in the healing power of God to heal the internal wound she cannot see.

How many lives do you want to be lost before you remove the scales from your eyes and those you have blindfolded? As a Christian mom who has known what it is to lose someone and have had the joys of birthing through CS. I tell you today that you are very normal and you are a Hebrew woman. If you need to have your baby via CS to save both lives, I am here cheering you on.

God did not give you that child to kill you. God did not give you that child to end up having that child go motherless. It is not the will of God that mothers die at childbirth. It is not the will of God that babies die at childbirth. One thing God gave us is the power to choose. Choose life.

Dear husbands and fathers to be, God’s plan is not to make you a widower. It is not his will that you are left with a baby to care for without the help of your wife. God’s plan and will for every marriage and home is husband, wife and children; alive, healthy and living for him.

Scriptural Thoughts:
Isaiah 66:7-9 (MSG) “Before she went into labor, she had the baby. Before the birth pangs hit, she delivered a son. Has anyone ever heard of such a thing? Has anyone seen anything like this? A country born in a day? A nation born in a flash? But Zion was barely in labor when she had her babies! Do I open the womb and not deliver the baby? Do I, the One who delivers babies, shut the womb?

Genesis 3:16a (NLT) Then he said to the woman, “I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth…

1 Timothy 2:15 (AMP) But women will be preserved (saved) through [the pain and dangers of] the bearing of children if they continue in faith and love and holiness with self-control and discretion.

While the last ST has a broader scope as to what Paul was talking about, at creation God’s plan for childbearing for women is to save her and the child, though painfully.

God bless you. Amen.

What COMPARISON truly does

Hello beautiful,

Happy new month. Happy March, How was February and January? How intentional were you these past two months? Oh well, don’t beat up yourself so much if you slipped here and there. It’s totally understandable. The only time, it isn’t fine is if you don’t stand up. Who said life is all perfect and no slips and no mistakes? Well, just tell them, hmm… and continue on your journey. Even God knows we are far from perfect and that’s why he gave us Jesus Christ. And the interesting thing is that you don’t need to wait till a special day to tell him when you slipped. Immediately you do so, you tell him because, he already knows. He saw you slip.

Okay, come let me tell you something, I slipped too, not just once or twice, I did severally but I always got back up and here I am.

Today we would talk about a topic that would lead to a series for March – COMPARISON.

The truth is that, we have at least once in our lives, compared. Okay before you give me the look and start to shake your head in disapproval, think again and think back. I have compared and I have competed. I have compared my life to some peoples’ many a times and guess what, the comparison didn’t make anything better, instead it was like a goof soil which began to grow envy and jealousy that I had to slap myself to reality. The words I always said were, “oh how I wish, I wish, I wish.” You may say, “Mrs. O, so wishes now are wrong?” Well, “it depends on what the motive behind the wishes are and what triggered the wishes.”

Truth be told, technology has advanced and social media does not even help matters one bit. We would divide this into three categories of people.

  1. Those who compare themselves with others and compete;
  2. Those who compare others with others and judge;
  3. Those who compare themselves with others and get depressed.

Category 1 – They see something and then boom, they have same. For example, Kemi just bought a new pair of shoes and boom, Remi has the exact same. Now Kemi may have been saving all her life to get it and since she now has the means, she does. Remi on the other hand, breaks her piggy bank to do same. But why? By the way, its different from admiring and complimenting and then asking questions.

Category 2 – This especially happens to leaders. And now I am guilty of this and talking to myself as well. We see the way a particular Leader does a thing and then we compare with another (of which some of these comparisons are not fair at all) and boom, we judge them in such a way that one would almost think, that is the final judgement. If you are in this category with me, let us stop it.

Category 3 – Oh my, I have been there and this can happen to anyone. It can catch you off guard even when it wasn’t your intention to do so. Imagine praying for something so dearly and someone who you never even heard them think (if you could hear people’s thoughts) about it suddenly have it. You look and there it is. What you need so dearly with someone who obviously have no need for it. It starts to look like God has forgotten you or life has chosen to be so unfair to you. It’s easy to be depressed in such a situation.

What remained constant among these three categories, is the fact that they saw. But each had a choice as regards the action to take. While I am not perfect, I am still learning CONSCIOUSLY.

Let me leave you with this;

“If you must compare at all, let it be fair. Don’t see it as an opportunity to compete, judge or become down trodden. Comparison if at all, should push you to groom and become a better version of yourself.” ~ Phebe (Reju) Olaniran

God bless you and do have a beautiful weekend.

SAVED BY THE KNIFE – I was medically too short…

“The womb of a woman isn’t defined by her stature. It was designed to stretch and accommodate generations of greatness.” ~ Phebe (Reju) Olaniran

It was all joys when we found out we were expecting. On my third appointment with the gynecologist, he mentioned to me that I would have to birth via CS as according to one medical calculation. Okay, truth be told, I was scared. I truly was. Got home and told my husband, he said that’s fine. Consulted some doctor friends and they expressed the same so I accepted.

When I met with my gynecologist, he mentioned that it was possible for me to birth vaginally as people as short as me and even shorter has birthed vaginally (which is true.)

Fast forward to day of baby’s arrival, I was in labor for 18hours (thank God for epidural) and I was just at 2.5cm. Baby became distressed and I needed emergency CS to be delivered of my little miracle. We both obliged at same time, the doctor had to laugh. We held hands as expecting parents and prayed. My dad was called and he prayed with us too. Oh I love my gynecologist, he asked to pray with us and off we went to have our “good and perfect gift.”

Miraculous God, baby had the cord round the neck and didn’t even descend at all. Who knows what would have happened if baby was crowned and all those.

While I am not saying, don’t have faith, I am saying as much as you have faith in God, if God has to use the doctor, have faith in the doctor too.

I had a repeat CS for my second baby. The healing process was much easier the second time than the first and to God be all the praise.

I was saved by the knife and I say, CS is NOT a sin.

Story by Mrs. O’.

Picture credit: Google

SAVED BY THE KNIFE – …then my baby’s heartbeat dropped

“The only regret any mother lives with is one in which she had a choice but refused to use it. Everyone may forget it but she wouldn’t, not even in a hurry.” ~ Phebe (Reju) Olaniran

I bless God I didn’t loose my baby when my husband and a doctor friend stands against birthing through CS, believing and encouraging me that I can do it myself, whereas it’s my first child.

That day, Tuesday to be precise, I had been in labour since 3pm and by that time I was at 5cm. The doctor told us what he feels is head and one of the hand, I was given injection to see if the baby’s position will change. The next news was that my baby’s heartbeat has dropped to 85, meaning my baby is striving and tired so am I too.

The doctor said, “I don’t think you need this baby. Tell your husband to agree to operation.” I am happy we did and I am carrying my 4month boy.

Thanks for this innovation.

Story by Mrs. O. Abolaji