Hello and welcome back.

If this is your first time of visiting my blog, you are very welcome and I hope you find this place as beautiful as the name reads. Have a cup of tea, raise your legs, be comfortable and read away.

Before I continue, catch up on Part 1 and Part 2.

After we knew we were going to be with each other for the rest of our lives, my then fiancé and I were given the go ahead to do our introductions to each other’s family. Though not present physically to receive his in laws, the words my dad shared with us via Skype has found a way to live with us and will always live with us forever. He shared from the scriptures of the woman whose husband died and she had to marry the brother and on till the seventh one. Now the question that was posed to Jesus was, “whose wife will she be at the resurrection?” Christ’s response was that at the resurrection, there will be no marriage, for we would be like the angels.

Now, Angels are perfect beings and they do not marry. (Well if you have found one that is married, feel free to let me know) Now just imagine two angels married, the marriage would be boring. They will know everything about each other and there would be no surprises. And I digressed but I’m back.

Now, the human beings that God created are imperfect. So dad told us that we must understand that we did not marry an angel and hence we will offend one another, step on one another’s toe and all the things that real human beings would do. But we must learn to forgive because if that person knew, he/she wouldn’t do it.

These days, you hear words like, “Oh I married a perfect man/woman.” Well they are far from the truth. “We have never argued about anything.” Oh that must be so boring, because you should argue. You are two different individuals with unique characters and just like the teeth will mistakenly bite the tongue, you should have times of disagreements. A friend told me once that if you see a couple who haven’t had an argument ever in their married life, they are fighting a Cold War (malice). I’ll say I agree with her.

It’s healthy to argue, it’s healthy to disagree. Sometimes you will raise your voices but never ever raise your hands. Make sure you arrive at common grounds. Don’t silence one another, give room for expression. The contents of a man/woman’s heart are revealed during disagreements. Some can be annoying, but listen. Apologize and mean it. Apology is not gender biased. Husband and Wife, apologize when you are wrong.

In all of these imperfections, you two must learn to trust the perfect God. Let Him always be the third cord that binds you and keep you from loosening, not another man/woman. They are imperfect like you and can innocently or maliciously prescribe an imperfect solution. No marriage on earth is perfect. As much as we put our best to be the best, we can never be perfect. So enjoy the surprises that comes with your spouse.

Just before I drop my pen or rather rest my fingers, let me also mention that, as the years go by, you begin to have less arguments because you both grow in wisdom and love each passing day. So you naturally become tolerant.

Love within a marriage makes the imperfect marriage look like a perfect one to those outside.

Till you read from me on this series, stay beautiful and keep enjoying and loving your “imperfect” spouse.

God bless you and much love.

Oh yeah!!! Welcome back.

It looks like this subject on marriage is becoming a series. But who knows, I believe that so far it’s impressed in my heart to share, someone needs to read this. Marriage topics are not what I think I should talk or write about very often, as I am but a young wife and a student of this lifetime institution.

Now, when you buy a machine or anything that involves assembling, you will always have a guide or set of instructions within the package. Sometimes they even ask if you need an assembly expert. Marriages are like machines with no assembly guide or step by step instruction. Every day is a new assembly instruction. So your guide cannot work for another. It can only work for the users of the machine – parents and children. This is because you are the user and you know the machine better than anyone.

Now, EACH MARRIAGE HAS IT’S UNIQUE ASSEMBLY GUIDE. You should not use another’s guide. If you do, it will just end up causing problems and if care is not taken to correct it, you might just end up with a faulty or altogether destructive machine; and what you will need at this time would be the expertise of assembly expert – the Holy Spirit. If your assembly expert cannot fix it, He would recommend checking in with the factory – God – for a redesign.

Now to even make it more interesting.

• Do you know that these machines may look alike but be of different brands?
• Do you know that they can even be the same brand but different model?

Ah ha! Now you are like, yes. Oh yes… the model, the brand, the type,and even the year has a great role to play in its assembling. Marriages may look alike in that, you may have a Christian husband/wife like A and a sweet hands on spouse like B. Well, yes they look alike but have you checked the brand of that marriage, the model and even the year?

Now you can have two marriages which are 10 years old and very very differently assembled. Or even same model – Christian – but differently assembled too. They may even be of same brand – family, faith, denomination – but assembled differently as well. So also, you would have a marriage of 30years assembled differently and another of 5years old assembled differently too. Though that of 5years may be looking as though it would turn out to be like that of 30years; just remember that years of assembling has gone into that of 30 and that of 5 just began. 

So next time, before you use someone’s else assembly guide or instructions, remember they had to make their own guide; and there is a reason marriages have no assembly guide or instruction. God intentionally left it so, same as our choices so we can make them and be responsible for them. Now God is original and hence, wants your marriage to be original. Not a copy. So both of you, get down to writing those original instructions.

Are you married and wanting your marriage to be like A or B? I’m afraid you are trying to assemble your marriage with someone else’s guide and this won’t work. Are you preparing for this journey? Get ready to create your own unique guide. Mind you, I don’t expect you to do this on your own, involve the assembly expert and as often as possible, feel free to check with the factory for latest products for an upgrade.

From now on I want you to see marriage as a Christmas present wrapped in a box, un-box and begin assembling with joy because God’s desire is that we enjoy the beautiful joys of marriage, don’t go assembling yours like mine and neither will I assemble mine like yours. Variety is the spice of life. And yes originality is everything.

I don’t know what I am going to write on next but see you next time on a continuation of these series.

God bless you and stay beautiful. Much love.

Today, I have decided to talk about a very sensitive topic – Marriage.

I have tried my best not to say anything about this because, I am still a young wife and have a lot to learn on this lifetime journey. But hey, I’ll share it so that it won’t choke me. Hehehehe.

Marriage is like a “Partnership Business” where everyone should have 100% share holding. For some, they have decided to invest 10% or even 50% and thereby causing the other to either invest the remaining 50% or 90% for them. Let’s be honest, any business that is run this way may as well be called a “Sole Proprietorship” or like we call it “One man business.”

Marriage is a business that would suffer if both partners don’t give their 100%. I hear often when people say Marriage is 50-50. Well for me, way before I got married, I had always told myself that when I find the man for me, I will give my 100%. I remember the discussion coming up and someone said, how would I do such? Well I asked her, who am I keeping the remaining 50% for? Many healthy and godly marriages are those where both partners gave their 100%. Well some may have even started off as a 40-60 or 70-30 kind of relationship but later became a 100-100 one. This means if you are still doing 50-50, you can still get to 100-100.

In the business of  marriage where its operated on a 100-100 basis, any blow is felt by both partners, the good and bad times are enjoyed and endured together. But in others, the 40 or 50 or 90 that was kept aside is immediately utilized and then such marriage businesses are almost irredeemable.

Now, you will be surprised to know that some who have failed in this business venture, at the beginning invested their 100%. One day they decided to listen to opinions of people who aren’t on the board of trustees of their business and without checking with their partner either started to keep some part away or began to show some attitude. Many times, these advisers may be jealous of your booming business or altogether known for giving terrible advice due to ignorance and they would give one that would send it crashing. You must learn to sieve these loads of advice and opinions. Pass it through the board (The Trinity) and through your partner as well.

Just like every business venture, what you sow is what you reap. You can’t get what you don’t put it; but mind you, you might put in and not get same or more back. That’s synonymous to the risk we take in actual business and hey, we don’t just give up when we get hit if we want to succeed. As a married person, if you have been investing anything less than 100%, start now to begin to increase it. I am not saying that go all out and invest especially if it looks like the business is crumbling. Rather, sit with your partner and the board and discuss how to go forward. You both may just have to start  investing 20, then 30, then 50, then 100 together to achieve success. For others who have caused their partners to give 150%, it’s time, you put in your balance and balance the scale.

Dear Singles, what’s your investment plan towards your marriage business? Is it 10% or 50% or 100%. Times are changing, people are now understanding the scriptures better and they are learning to “Watch before praying.” So if you think you would easily get someone who is ready to invest 100 and you 10 and make him/her invest another 90 to balance the scale; you may as well just join the wait list because, the Chairman of the Board of these businesses, isn’t dozing. He is wide awake and working round the clock to ensure these businesses prosper and succeed 100%.

Alright, I drop my pen now. Until later, God bless you and lots of love from me to you.