#BWPC: DAY TWO

Welcome to Day Two.

Today we would be praying about COMMUNICATION.

Communication in marriage is like blood in our veins. A lack of it can cause choking that we feel it even in our heart. There are some homes represented here that the communication between you and your husband is dying or let me mildly put it as suffering. Sometimes, you ask yourself, “How did I get here? What did I do wrong? Where did I miss it?” Sometimes, you didn’t do anything. Sometimes, you didn’t miss anything. And that becomes even difficult to understand.

Aside communication with our spouses, how is our communication with our children? A lack of communication or wrongful methods of communication between spouses can spill into that with children. When your husband don’t tell you what you have done wrong and gives you the silent treatment, it can be heartbreaking. How about those times, you gave your husband the silent treatment instead of communicating to him what he had done wrongly?

Just as we talk to God and expects Him to hear us and answer us, So also, we expect same from our husbands and he also expects same from us.

PRAYER POINTS

  • I am sorry Lord for all the times, I ignored my husband while he was talking to me because I was angry with him. I am sorry Lord for the silent wars I began just to express my dissatisfaction. Where it is Lord that I have contributed to the collapse of communication in my marriage, I ask for your mercy Lord. I acknowledge my part and I am sorry Lord. From this moment, I say the war is over. The silent treatment is over.

Proverbs 14:1 EXB – A wise woman strengthens her family [builds her house], but a foolish woman destroys hers by what she does [tears hers down with her own hands].

  • Father, where it is that I have put up a wall such that my husband cannot speak to me, I pull down those walls and I give you permission to make them plain. [Husband’s name], you have access to me. When you have offended me, I will speak lovingly and respectfully with you about it. I declare that from today, no unresolved issues, see the light of the next day. We will go to sleep having a beautiful communication and wake up having a beautiful communication, in Jesus Name.

It is inevitable that in marriages, there’ll be times when we argue with our spouses. But in the midst of those argument, what are our (husband and wife) words like?

Proverbs 18:2 EXB – Fools do not want to understand anything [delight in understanding]. They only want to tell others what they think [reveal/disclose their heart].
Proverbs 10:19 EXB – If you talk a lot [ In an abundance of words], you are sure to sin [ wickedness does not cease]; if you are wise, you will keep quiet [ restrain your lips].

  • Father, help [Husband’s name} and I to know when to keep quiet and listen to each other and when to speak up. Every foolish spirit trying to control us and make us feel we are always right, I silence you by the power of God.

Proverbs 18:21 GW – The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love to talk will have to eat their own words.
James 1:19 GW – Remember this, my dear brothers and sisters: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and should not get angry easily.

  • Lord in the midst of our misunderstanding and arguments, help us to not kill one another with our words. Help me Lord to always hear before I speak. Help my husband to always hear me before he speaks and even at the time when we will open our mouths, Let our words be life, let our words be backed up with wisdom, let our words bring healing to the situation in Jesus Name.

Most Men don’t like to communicate. Sometimes this is not intentional. Its just how they are wired. It can be so disturbing when you clearly see your husband in pain and you just can’t help him. I remember my husband just being quiet, I thought perhaps, I have done something but deep down I knew I had done nothing. So I whispered a prayer to God and just as we were about to sleep, I said, “babe, is there any problem? You’ve been so quiet and I just wanted to see if all was fine.” He said nothing to me and just went to bed. Very early when I woke up, he shared with me what the problem was and I still can’t remember what I said to him because, he was so happy like he won a jackpot.

Proverbs 25:11 CEB – Words spoken at the right time are like gold apples in a silver setting.

  • Lord, when my husband is down and he wants to be alone, remind him that I am his help meet and he should speak with me and find comfort in my words. At those times Lord, help me to have the right words to bring peace and calmness. And for this Lord, cause my husband to feel comfortable opening up to me about everything in Jesus name.

Our children watch us and how we communicate to one another, they are learning. I remember talking to my husband and while we were joking sounding funny, our first born repeated the same thing and we were amazed. Then we looked at each other and I said, “hmmm, they are watching.”

Ephesians 4:29 GW – Don’t say anything that would hurt another person. Instead, speak only what is good so that you can give help wherever it is needed. That way, what you say will help those who hear you.

  • Father, for all the times, our (husband and wife) words have not be helpful to even our children who heard us, on behalf of [husband’s name] and I, I ask for your mercy. I ask that you purge those words from the memory of our children and from today, only words that you approve will come out of our mouths. Our children will see us and learn from us the right way to speak, the right way to address other and when we are not there, you oh Lord will teach them yourself in Jesus name.

Lastly, you’ll pray;

  • Father, from today, the change in communication that I expect to see in [husband’s name], let it begin with me. I surrender all of my words, all of my thoughts and I allow and receive only thoughts and words that is approved by you in Jesus Name.

DECLARATIONS

  • I decree and declare that [husband’s name] will live with me in an understanding way. 1 Peter 3:7
  • I decree and declare the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart is acceptable in your sight Lord. Psalm 19:14
  • I decree and declare, what comes out of my mouth is good for building up, is fit for the occasion and it gives grace to those who hear me. (Ephesians 4:29)
  • I decree and declare, for every time we open our mouths, our words will bring life and healing. (Proverbs 12:18)
  • I decree and declare, we will be open, truthful and honest with one another. (Proverbs 28:13)
  • I decree and declare, from today, the Love of God in me towards my husband covers up all his past mistakes, it wipes the slate clean and a new journey begins to a better communication between him and I; and Us and our children. (1 Peter 4:8)

These we decree and declare in Jesus Mighty Name. Amen!!!

Thank for joining me today. See you tomorrow.

Blessings.

#BWPC: DAY ONE

Welcome to Day One of this year’s Beautiful Wife Prayer Challenge.

As always, to make sure we are obeying God’s word in totality, I see the need to remind you that this exercise is not a way of telling God how right you are and how wrong your spouse is. So every bitterness, anger and resentment that would hinder your prayers, we will address first.

Also, we would be thanking the Lord for the opportunity to be alive to participate in this year’s challenge. Your husband and children may not know you are doing this and that is fine, seeing the answers to your prayers in the life of your husband and children, I promise you, is rewarding and fulfilling.

While some of the prayer points for today might not look like its for you. I admonish that you pray them. If not for yourself, for other beautiful wives on this platform who need these prayers.

PRAYER POINTS.

1 Chronicles 16:34 ERV – Give thanks to the Lord because he is good. His faithful love will last forever.
Psalm 100:3 GW – Realize that the Lord alone is God. He made us, and we are his. We are his people and the sheep in his care.
Ephesians 2:8 GW – God saved you through faith as an act of kindness. You had nothing to do with it. Being saved is a gift from God.

  • Father, I thank you for life, I thank you for Jesus Christ who died on the cross of Calvary, affording me unfettered access to you. I thank you for the opportunity to talk to you. I thank you because you hear me and you answer me, giving me your best to make my life beautiful. Thank you father. Thank you Lord. Thank you Holy Spirit.

If you have come to this challenge with some unresolved anger towards your husband, you will want to pray this next prayer before you proceed so that you can say like the psalmist;

Psalm 66:17-18 ERV  – I cried out to him for help, and I praised him. If I had been hiding sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened to me.

  • Father, I confess my bitterness toward what my husband has done to me (Please mention every one of it. Even if you have to cry, go on.) I confess that I didn’t handle the situation properly and I ask that you forgive me. Let the peace of God minister to my heart this moment so I can pray for my husband (Mention Name) in Jesus Name.

Are you here and you somehow find yourself wishing you had not married your husband and looking to some others, wishing they were your husband. This can happen especially when there is friendship or close association with other men and they begin to treat you “better” that your husband. Funny enough, some dwell so much on this thoughts that they begin to dream about those man taking the place of their husband. If you are here, you would need to pray this prayer. If you haven’t has such thought, you will want to also pray against such happening.

Matthew 5:27,28 EXB – You have heard that it was said, ‘You must [shall] not be guilty of [commit] adultery. But I tell you that if anyone looks at a woman(man) and wants to sin sexually with her(him) [lustfully; with a desire for her(him)], in his(her) mind [heart] he(she) has already done that sin [committed adultery] with her(him).

  • Father for all the times I looked on another man and lusted after him, wishing he were my husband; I ask for your mercy today. I come before the cross and I confess that I have sinned. Let the blood of Jesus wash me clean, sanctify my thoughts and erase every trace of lust in Jesus Name. (Feel free to dwell longer on this point if you have committed adultery)

  • Father from today I give you express permission to make my husband all that I see and is attracted to sexually. My eyes shall not behold any that I would lust after. I put on the lenses of the Holy Spirit to see through every friendship and association with men who are not my husband and have ulterior motives.

Trusting God to work on or make a difference in a marriage, especially if both partners have prayed and prayed can be difficult. But God still wants you to trust him. Many a times, it’s not that God isn’t working, it’s that what exactly you want to see or how you want it to go, is not exactly the way God is working and your expectation has blinded you from seeing it.

Proverbs 3:5,6 ERV –  Trust the Lord completely, and don’t depend on your own knowledge. With every step you take, think about what he wants, and he will help you go the right way.

  • Father, I confess that I have tried to fix this marriage in my own way and I have failed. I know so many times I have called upon you but my impatience has made me not to trust that you are working. Lord today, I give it all to you and I declare today that I will depend completely on your knowledge from now on.

Isaiah 55:8,9 NLT – “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.

  • Father, I align myself with you today and I declare upon this altar today that indeed, my thoughts and ways are different from your. Yours is perfect and that is what I want. Discard my thoughts, rearrange my plans and bring to pass your perfect plans and desires for my marriage in Jesus Name.

Like the Song Writer who wrote the song – Fill My Cup, Lord – today we will take the chorus of that song and raise it as a prayer to the Lord. Let that remain your prayer everyday throughout this challenge and beyond.

  • Lord, I have come to you as a beautiful wife to pray for [husband name] and [child(ren) name]. Fill my cup, Lord; I lift it up Lord; Come and quench this thirsting of my soul. Bread of Heaven, feed me till I want no more. Fill my cup, fill it up and make me whole in Jesus Name.

Thank you for joining in today’s prayer. While we’ve used today as directed by the Holy Spirit to deal with sin, join in tomorrow as we knock on heaven’s door regarding us, our husbands and our children.

Prayer Points would be up on the blog by 12:00 Noon (GMT+1).

Please invite others to join. Singles, Engaged and Married.

Share on your timelines, Share on your social media pages.

Happy New Month and Have a beautiful week.

God bless and keep you.

BEAUTIFUL WIFE PRAYER CHALLENGE

Hello beautiful, the time is upon us to challenge ourselves once again to 12 days of prayer for our spouses, children and ourselves. While the original inspiration behind this challenge was to pray for our husbands, we’ve gradually expanded our prayers to reach our children.

You may say, “we fight all the time, we argue all the time and so on; so I don’t have anything to pray for him about.”

Oh sister, you do!

Now let me ask you this? “Do you want to keep fighting and arguing? Have you told God about it lovingly? Not because you want God to crush him, but because you love him and you know you shouldn’t be fighting?”

Early in the year while I meditated and asked the Lord what December would be like, I had a passing thought – “How about I invite others to send in their requests.” And since then, this thought has not left me. While I’ve lifted many in prayers in my private corner. I believe that when we lift each other up as a family, our knocks on heaven’s door are louder and firmer.

This year for the first time, we have invited you to send in your requests in accordance to James 5:16 TPT – Confess and acknowledge how you have offended one another and then pray for one another to be instantly healed, for tremendous power is released through the passionate, heartfelt prayer of a godly believer!

Now, as you come to this challenge, I want you to come with an open heart to pray. We aren’t here on a revenge mission or an “I told you so” quest. We are here to take our positions as that “GOOD THING” we are described as in Proverbs 18:22 ERV – If you find a wife, you have found something good. She shows that the Lord is happy with you.

Let our presence in the lives of our husbands, cause them to experience the unhindered, uncommon, unfettered favor of God.

I welcome you to the challenge. Please invite your friends and families to join us, as we give our families the gift of prayers for the first 12 days in December. (Our 12 days of Christmas)

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Raising godly children

My number 1 goal as a Mom is to ensure my children know the Lord.

“Why?”

God in a person’s life is everything.

Recently, I have been studying to get certified to become a children’s storybook writer and whilst at that, I have been engaging my beautiful children in exciting activities. One of which is reading and praying.

I shared with my children (even though they may not totally understand all I said) that every morning they wake up, they have to say, “Good morning Jesus. Thank you Jesus for today.” I shared with them that God made everything including Daddy, Mommy, and them (mentioning their names)

Another thing I did was have everyone in the family declare over our own lives with our own mouths after we recite the Lord’s Prayer together; and then we say a big AMEN!!!

Growing up in a Christian family, I can’t exactly remember when we were first told about Christ but I remember learning to read by reading our church magazines, Pilgrims progress and the KJV Bible.

Now, our youngest of 2 year old, even while she recites after me or hubby with our oldest, there are times she just keeps quiet and listen. On this particular day, I was attending to my oldest and I looked behind me; only to find my youngest on their rug with her teddy. She placed the teddy at one end and stayed at the other end, knelt down, one hand on head and one on heart (as we do) and began reciting our family’s declaration to her teddy. I was so excited and then it hit me, all the while she was listening and she was watching.

Dear beautiful Dad and Mom, the godly upbringing that you so desire starts with what you do with your children right in the church in your home. You don’t have to wait for the teachers at church to do this for you. Who told you they’ll do a better job? Don’t just send them off to the Bible club. Do you know what they teach them there?

Scriptures says in Proverbs 22:6 TPT – “Dedicate your children to God and point them in the way that they should go, and the values they’ve learned from you will be with them for life.”

The Scriptures didn’t say the Pastor or the Sunday school teacher should point them. The instruction was given to you and I and God expects us to do it.

Timothy is an example of a child that knew the Lord from a young age and you know who taught him? His mother and grandmother.

2 Timothy‬ ‭3:15‬ ‭NLT‬‬ – “You have been taught the holy Scriptures from childhood, and they have given you the wisdom to receive the salvation that comes by trusting in Christ Jesus.”

‭‭2 Timothy‬ ‭1:5‬ ‭NLT‬‬ – “I remember your genuine faith, for you share the faith that first filled your grandmother Lois and your mother, Eunice. And I know that same faith continues strong in you.”

‭‭Don’t think your child is too little to know about God. Just keep reading the Bible to and with them; and pray with them. Let them learn to say Amen and one day the power of God that transforms life will work in them and work for them.

2 Timothy‬ ‭3:16-17‬ ‭NLT‬‬ – “All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work.”

As I conclude, I am reminded of a prayer point I shared in a conference some years ago regarding our children. I’ll share with you here and I’ll request that you pray this prayer every day for your child.

  • Do you have older children who need to know the Lord, it’s not late. Pray for them.
  • Are you reading this and thinking, oh I’ve failed. I didn’t start early. No you haven’t. And the grace of God is always available.
  • Are you about to be new parents, this is very important for you too. Start even before they arrive. Read to and pray for them in-utero.

Prayer: “Father I send a missile of salvation to (Child’s Name). Wherever they go let it find them. I lock them as the target for your salvation. Wherever they are, whatever they do, let them be hit with your mercy and let them come to the knowledge of your love for them and your saving grace in Jesus Name. Amen!”

Blessings.

God’s Grace is not limited.

Do you know that sometimes, in our own little understanding, we can try to limit the Grace of God which has been made available to all?

Growing up, there were some people I knew. I knew them so well that I almost didn’t believe they can change. The other day, one was referred to as Pastor and the flesh in me started asking all sort of questions and imagining all sorts.

“When did he become a pastor?” “Who is he deceiving?” “Wonders shall never end.” And so on.

Then a very very quiet thought passed by and was;

“Do you think people never change? Sit there and be a judge when he may be there, genuinely saved and filled with the Holy Spirit, fulfilling Kingdom purpose.”

Immediately, I began to confess my thoughts to God. I told him how sorry I was to sit on my imaginary high horse and judge a fellow human like me. While I confessed my faults to God, I was reminded how I was judged the same way and yet this is me. Am I better than him?

This message is to every beautiful person out there who has enjoyed the mercy of God and is continually enjoying the unlimited grace of God. That we knew their past does not qualify us to be a judge over their present or future.

The mercy of God that found you is out there finding so many and those you think you know are been found and washed clean. If you are not careful, you could loose your way and still think you are on the right path.

Looking back at the beautiful years my sweet and wonderful sister spent before her relocation to heaven; and knowing how Christ like she lived continually rings in my heart and head. This just make me want to be so beautiful for Christ.

It’s not about knowing the Bible from cover to cover. It’s about being a living example of the Bible you read. At the end of our race here on on earth if the Lord tarries, at a ripe good old age, we will all be judged and how you lived your life for the Lord here on earth is all that will matter. Your denomination won’t, your religious lifestyle (going to every service, etc) won’t matter if you never made your heart a comfortable place for God. That you wore very long clothes and covered your faces won’t matter, your relationship with God will. That you preached and preached won’t matter, if that message you preached transformed your life will matter most.

My dear beautiful people, while I have peace that my wonderful little sister is in Heaven, I want to see you all on the last day in heaven.

The grace of God is available and it is not limited to a type of people, a type of denomination, a type of profession, and so on. It’s is UNLIMITED AND AVAILABLE!!!

Titus 2:11-14 NLT: “For the grace of God has been revealed, bringing salvation to all people. And we are instructed to turn from godless living and sinful pleasures. We should live in this evil world with wisdom, righteousness, and devotion to God, while we look forward with hope to that wonderful day when the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, will be revealed. He gave his life to free us from every kind of sin, to cleanse us, and to make us his very own people, totally committed to doing good deeds.”

If you have not invited Christ into your life, just say this short prayer:

“Dear Lord, I know I am a sinner and today, I invite you to take your place in my life. I repent of all my sins (mention all you can remember) and I believe that you died to save me from sin and death. Let the blood of Jesus wash me clean and give me the grace to sin no more. This I have asked through faith in Jesus Christ’s Name. Amen…”

Now that you are saved, I encourage you to get a good Bible and find a Bible believing church to attend. Ensure to find God within the pages of the Bible everyday because He is there. God bless you.

Blessings

Strength of “Friend-ships”

Some friendships don’t last for long, but there is one loving friend who is joined to your heart closer than any other! Proverbs 18:24 TPT

As an introvert who also happen to have a dominant melancholy temperament, building a friendship is one that I just don’t begin without thinking it through. And if you ask me why, I believe I have a lot of reasons. But I must share that there are some friendships for me that took off quickly and have been great.

Before I deviate far, let me get to the reason for this post.

I have come to discover that many “quick” friendships don’t stand the test of time and many do turn out to be great and beautiful. May I also mention that, even when we are careful, we can still invest in a friendship with someone who isn’t ready to do same.

If we look through scriptures, there are so many accounts of friendships that shows how great and beautiful it is to invest in friendships. Moses and Aaron; David and Jonathan; Abraham and Lot; Mary and Elizabeth, Elijah and Elisha, Naomi and Ruth; Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego; and others.

For this post, I’ll just focus on three.

David and Jonathan

This is an example of a “quick” or rather let’s call it an instant friendship. Jonathan was Saul’s son and even when Saul gave an instruction to kill David, Jonathan was the one to tell David about it and save his life.

This is one that shows us how much friendship can keep. Jonathan was directly related to Saul but he couldn’t imagine his friend being killed for no reason. He went all out to make sure David was secure and then he went to reason with his father. I want to believe that even if Saul’s heart was hardened, Jonathan would not have carried out his father’s instruction and wouldn’t mind his relationship with his father over his friendship to David.

After David had finished talking with Saul, he met Jonathan, the king’s son. There was an immediate bond between them, for Jonathan loved David. From that day on Saul kept David with him and wouldn’t let him return home.And Jonathan made a solemn pact with David, because he loved him as he loved himself. 1 Samuel 18:1-3 NLT

Saul told his son Jonathan and his officers to kill David. But Jonathan liked David very much, so he warned him. “Be careful! Saul is looking for a chance to kill you. In the morning go into the field and hide. I will go out into the field with my father. We will stand in the field where you are hiding. I will talk to my father about you, and I will tell you what I learn.” 1 Samuel 19:1-3 ERV

Friends would stand up for you and defend you in any situation that puts your life or well-being at risk.

Abraham and Lot

Even though Lot was a nephew to Abraham, there was a loyalty that Abraham had to Lot and this shows us what friendship is all about. This we see in him going in pursuit when Lot was captured. And when Sodom and Gomorrah was to be destroyed, it was because of Lot, Abraham kept asking the Lord if He would destroy it if He finds a number of good people.

When Abram learned that Lot was captured, he called all of his family together. There were 318 trained soldiers. He led the men and chased the enemy all the way to the town of Dan… Then Abram brought back everything the enemy had stolen, as well as the women and servants, his nephew Lot, and everything Lot owned. Genesis 14:14-16 ERV

Then Abraham approached him and asked, “Will you destroy the good people while you are destroying those who are evil? Genesis 18: 23 ERV

Friends are selfless and will go out of their way to make sure you are safe.

Daniel and Shadrach, Meshach & Abednego

These were young men from the tribe of Judah taken to Babylon. When an order was given to kill all the wise men, these four men were to be killed as well. Daniel however was the one who interpreted the king’s dream and was rewarded with the most important job in the kingdom. Anyone in this position would not want to be competed with but not Daniel. He asked that his friends be given important positions as well.

Then the king gave Daniel a very important job in his kingdom and gave him many expensive gifts. Nebuchadnezzar made Daniel ruler over the whole province of Babylon and put him in charge of all the wise men of Babylon. Daniel asked the king to make Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego important officials over the province of Babylon. The king did as Daniel asked. Daniel himself became one of the important officials who was always near the king. Daniel 2:48,49 ERV

Friends look out for each other and are not afraid of anything but wants only what’s best for the other.

There is a strength that lies within Friendships. If yours drains you, gives you headache and sleepless night and takes away your peace, please prayerfully ask yourself, is this the kind of friendship God wants for me?

It was recorded in scriptures that Abraham and God were friends. (2 Chronicles 20:7, Isaiah 41:8, James 2:23) And with this I invite you to develop a friendship with God because this will make you a great friend to someone out there.

Next time, I would be writing on Friendships in relationships. Do well to subscribe and turn on your notifications to know when the post is published.

Blessings.

Let him help you!

There is this mentality or would I call it a cultural belief that the woman is meant to do everything from cooking, to cleaning, to caring, to shopping, to training the children and so on.

Now this post is directly addressing the women but hello guys, you can learn a lot from it and even help your wife.

So, before you got married, your husband was maybe staying on his own or in a family house but while being unmarried, he was (I intentionally used the word “WAS”) very industrious, domestic and handy in the matters of the home. He did his laundry himself, cooked for either himself alone or family. He was just hands-on around the house and who knows that’s one of the plenty things you say and fell in love with.

Now married, he wants to do the dishes, you say, “Honey please leave it alone, I will do it.” He wants to help clean the house, you say, “Honey, God forbid I will be here and you will be doing what I should be doing.” He takes his clothes and begins to wash, you fly from where you are to go grab it from his hand saying, “I should be the one doing this.”

Ah ah, Madam. Later you will be complaining of how lazy your husband is, how unhelpful he is, how he is this and that. Are you not the one that made him lazy? Are you not the one who decided you are to be the domestic slave? Now he that was used to doing things around the house, gradually becomes one whose help isn’t needed and hence found comfort in doing nothing around the house.

Dear singles, engaged and newly married, if your husband wants to help you, LET HIM! Before you begin to say, he would not do it like I want or how I do it. Have you heard of teaching him? And by teaching him, you must know you have to be patient and understand that he might make mistakes.

This past father’s day, I had a lot on my plate and there was no way I was going to finish all I has to do that day by myself. So while I was making my children’s hair for the school week, I asked boyfriend dearest to prepare soup for the family. Not just any soup, Egusi soup (Melon soup). The ingredients were already prepared and ready for use and all I did was guide him to make the soup exactly the way I make it. Off course, he wanted some shortcuts but I reminded him of how it would taste and I know he loves his Egusi soup yummy. When the children ate it, they didn’t know the difference. When I also tated it, I was very very impressed. Everyone that ate it didn’t know it wasn’t made by me but I told them and they were pleasantly surprised.

When you discuss during courtship, how the home front will be manned domestically, talk about chores. Let him know you will be relying greatly on his help. If he is a natural, please let him do it.

There is no where in scriptures where it said men should never help around the house. In fact looking back to the foundation of marriage as described in the beginning, Adam was busy taking care of things in the garden of Eden before Eve was created. Was he not eating? Was he not cleaning after himself? Eve’s arrival was to assist as much as be a companion to Adam. So, if we want to live out scriptures LITERALLY, women are the ones to actually ask, “Honey, how may I help you today?” Hehehe.

And to the guys reading this, when you want to help and she comes running to be in charge, remind her that it is your house too and ask her, “how many things does she want to do at once?” Most importantly, when she is so busy and overwhelmed, walk up to her and ask, “how can I help you darling?”

Scriptures for Reading.

Genesis 2:15, 18-22; Colossians 3:18-25; 1 Peter 3:7; Ephesians 5:21-30

Blessings.

Does God’s Will mean, anything goes?

I’ve always been asked questions about God’s Will especially as it relates to marriage. Let me just say this before I proceed that the Will of God is applicable to every area of our lives.

As I share on this topic, I will be open about my own relationship as well.

God’s will regarding marriage, I believe can be anybody from friends, family friends, colleagues to acquaintances. I’ve heard of only 1 case of a total stranger. (Now, when I say Total Stranger, I mean someone you have never seen in your life and he/she has never seen you in his/ her life. This person walks up to you and ask you to marry him/her. Well I won’t deny, I don’t know the response you will give. It will be, “Excuse me? Are you out of your mind?” Or you will simply ignore and run away) Most times, we grow close to people we see often or even saw just once (Love at first sight)

In my case, my husband and I used to be in the youth choir for some years and even though I can remember seeing him not more than 3-4 times, I just knew his name but we never said hello or hi. I knew he was a member of so and so family, I knew this and this were his siblings but I didn’t just know him to call him my friend.

Reading through Scriptures, I am yet to find one who married a complete stranger aside Adam and Eve. Back then, they married among themselves. Families went to their extended families from either the mother or father to pick wives. As we advanced further, we see the direction in which it went.

The Will of God is for us believers to marry someone who is also a believer. This can also be seen in the times of the old testament when Abraham and Isaac both instructed that wives should not be taken from people of the land (Canaanites). The Will of God is for us to be happy in our marriages. The Will of God is for us to raise children in a loving home where they are taught of the Lord. The Will of God is for us to grow old, still in love and still happy with our spouse. It is never God’s Will to marry an unbeliever, an abuser, a selfish spouse and in general an inhumane individual.

Sometimes, it may not be love at first sight or butterflies in the stomach. It sometimes is growing in love or building a friendship to relationship. In the case of Jacob, it was love at first sight; in the case of Isaac, it was that of building. In my case, when we reconnected, it was more of “Hey, you are such and such person right? Oh how have you been? What are you doing now? What level are you? What are you studying? Blah blah blah.” It was like two old acquaintances catching us after some years. We exchanged phone numbers and kept in touch till it grew from like to love, friends to more than friends, then to husband and partner.

I often hear young people being advised to not watch with one eye while praying with the other but just pray, pray, pray. Then I ask, what do you pray about when you don’t even know what to pray about? Do you just close your eyes and pray for a man and God just drops him there? Okay, before you say, “Shouldn’t we pray? Abraham’s servant prayed that way and God dropped Rebekah.” Please you need to pray and I am not excusing that important action because I also prayed. In fact, a year before I reconnected with my now husband, I had a personal retreat to address all areas of my life after graduation the next year. While I didn’t specifically pray for a husband, I prayed for my future home. All the Lord gave me back then was His Word in Habakkuk 2 and I have held on that word ever since.

Now, if you read that scripture with understanding, you’ll find out that the servant after praying, had to identify Rebekah, had to walk up to her and had to ask for water. So he had to do his part, while God did His in directing him aright. One thing we must understand is that we always have a part to play even when we pray. When we pray for a job, we have a part to play – study, develop yourself, and get ready to be interviewed.

So also with marriage, you watch with both eyes open, just as you pray with both eyes closed. Sometimes, I say to myself that if Jacob had opened his eyes and watched who was given to him, he would have know it wasn’t Rachel. Watch marriages that are doing well and those that aren’t. Watch the way godly husbands take on their responsibilities and watch the way godly women take on their responsibilities. Prepare yourself mentally, spiritually, physically for the journey. (It is very okay to have an expectation.) Then close those beautiful eyes and pray about the journey and who you should be journeying with.

Many a times, as natural human beings, we can start getting close to a particular person or even find ourselves putting this person’s interest before ours, caring about this person or what he/she has to say regarding matters that concern us. If you are a true believer, this is always done innocently with no motive. Most times, you are even alerted by people very very dear to you who have your best interest at heart. Many times, we excuse these people as simply great friends, best friends, great mentors, awesome mentees, a brother in the Lord, a sister in the Lord and so on.

Looking through scriptures, one thing was common about these spouses – putting the needs of the other before theirs. In the record of Abraham’s servant, Rebekah put the satisfaction of the servant and his camels before her. For Jacob, he put the wellness of Rachel and the herd ahead of himself. How will I also forget Ruth? Boaz put the needs of Ruth ahead in doing the right thing, he wasn’t selfish in the sense that he knew there was a likelihood that she wasn’t going to be his wife if the other relative had agreed to take her.

So now, “does God’s Will means, anything goes?”

Absolutely NO!

Wherever, However and Whenever you meet your spouse, if they are everything the Bible describes a husband to be and more, they are the Will of God.

After years of friendship, my then friend made his intentions known to me and this time, they were exactly what I also wanted.

Did it just happen? No! There were two who I thought would be but alas, they weren’t. Even though they were believers, they weren’t the one. And the interesting thing about God is, if you are in Him, He’ll always show you what lies ahead and still leave it in your hands to choose if you’ll proceed or apply the brakes, get out and walk or run, or just stay and wait for the next ride.

Applicable scriptures for reading.

Genesis 24:1-7, 12-21; 28:1-5; 29:9-18; Ruth 3:1-18

Blessings.