I would be sharing in this article and others something that is so dear to my heart. It is intended to encourage someone and put another on the right part. It would be treated as a series as if I have to write it all at once, it will be a very long read and you may not finish it. It would be divided and given different topics but be sure to read them after the other to get the bigger picture.

Growing up, I used to be taller than my younger sister who was the last born at the time. (She got stripped of the title years after) suddenly, out of no where we became same height such that whenever we went out to buy dresses or had to sew one, either of us stands in for the other. We were always referred to as twins but that title was short lived. Need I mention that we sound alike? Oh yes we do till this day. As though that would be the climax, next thing I didn’t see coming which took me unawares was that she overtook me. And now I was always mistaken for her younger sister.

Astime went on and we all began to mature, I was less noticed and I always told myself that it was because I wasn’t beautiful and worse of all I told myself that it was because I was short. Gradually, I began to slowly wear the garment of low self esteem. Fast forward to when I got into school at a very young age and word went round that a young person was in school. I felt down once again as I told myself that I wasn’t supposed to be here, I was supposed to be with people my age. It was so bad that it was so difficult for me to make friends. I always felt I wasn’t good enough and so that was the beginning of my lone-ranger kind of life.

I didn’t know the harm this new garment I wore was going to bring me. It was until I could hardly go out or walk where there is a lot of people that I began to understand what it was that I have done to myself. Funny enough, I never knew that it was called ‘Low Self Esteem’ as people just simply thought I was extremely introverted and melancholic – I am still introverted and melancholic. There is a lot of harm that this garment brings to its wearers. Many a times it takes its wearer prisoner and make them mental slaves. And when one has gotten to the point of mental slavery, it becomes hard to help such a one except the person decides he wants to be helped. Many a times victims of this despicable disease, in a bid to fit into society makes matters worse by wearing a cape of pride and arrogance over this garment.

I’ve seen people who are just as described. They don’t wanna be vulnerable enough to get help or even help themselves and the case continues till it gets out of hand and everyone begin to either keep away from them temporarily or avoid them completely. I will be sharing in subsequent articles how to identify and overcome it from my own experience. Below are some questions to ask yourself. Your answers will determine if this article is for you or not.

1. Do you feel you aren’t good enough?
2. Do you feel you aren’t talented enough?
3. Do you find yourself seeking approval from people to feel good about yourself?
4. Do you find yourself trying to get attention from people to feel validated?
5. Are you one who likes to live a lie to belong?
6. Are you one who hides your true identity to fit in?
7. Do you always have an answer to every question simply to feel among?
8. Are you trustworthy or will work to earn people’s trust?
9. Are you ready to take a positive step even if it will make you look like a fool?
10. Are you ready to move out of your comfort zone?
11. Are you ready to go the extra mile?
12. Do you want to be better than you are now?

If your answers to questions 1-7 are ‘NO’, thanks for reading this far. Please I’ll ask one Favour of you, share or pass this article to someone who will inturn do same till we get someone whose answers are ‘YES’. If you answered ‘YES’ to questions 8-12, Leggo, we have a train to catch. If you answered otherwise, you are still very much welcome onboard. Just ensure you bring someone along.

Until you read from me, let this week be a week of self discovery.

Mrs O loves you big and God bless you.

©BLArticles2016

For several days after i was told by Tim(not real name) that Abby(not real name) was not happy with me because God was blessing me, I found myself always thinking what exactly could be. I just wanted to believe that that wasn’t the reason for the silent dispute that existed between us which I was blind to. I remember going to the toilet, looking in the mirror and asking myself what has changed in me.

I began to ask me in the mirror if I had suddenly become proud. I asked myself if i behaved differently. The questions kept pouring from my lips to me in the mirror but there were no responses. I then began to ask the Lord to forgive me if i have unconsciously exhibited any form of pride, I asked him to help me to remain humble despite his blessings. I began to pray for myself because that was all I could do at that time.

So many times, God blesses us beyond human comprehension and we unknowingly, unintentionally act in a way or say something that people interprets as pride. Meanwhile, deep within the heart, it was done or said from the lowliest part of us. In a much common case, the blessings of God to some so overwhelms them that they become conspicuously proud and are ready to walk on people’s head if offered to them just to buttress that they have been blessed.

It is unavoidable that the blessings of God on a man brings about difference. If you are blessed financially and materially, it will show and as much as we try to remain humble, some will always misinterpret that. Its something that happens. Where i am heading to is the part you-the recipient of God’s blessings-play in all of these. When people begin to look up to you for their daily bread, is it from a humble spirit that act of kindness is done? I ask myself daily this life stirring questions. This article is not targeted to only those that God blesses even to those who are patient, are you humble too? I’ve seen people with nothing who are so proud. I see that as a challenge. No body wants to be looked down upon. So in order to be relevant, they put on the cloak of pride and that is the wrong attire for the occasion.

I want to encourage someone today and I am talking to myself as well, let us daily check our life with the thermometer of God’s word and judge by Jesus’s example if we are hot and not well or we are well. You can be the best of all and the best at everything but a little pride can make you the worst of all. Pride is like a terminal disease, it eats up its victim and leaves him or her for dead but humility is like a daily dose of vitamins and supplements, it keeps you shining and radiating.

In addition, there is a thin line between confidence and pride. When your confidence no longer allows you to listen to opinions from others and refuse you to be corrected, it has crossed the line. When dear friends call you in private to rebuke you and you publicly reject their rebuke, you have crossed the line. When everything becomes about you only, not caring about those who you hurt, you have crossed the line.

So to you and I, when the good Lord blesses us, let’s remember to thank him for the blessings and when we begin to get overwhelmed with His blessings, let’s ask that He plants the seed of humility in us.

“Proud and boastful people will be shamed, but wisdom stays with those who are modest and humble.” ~ Proverbs 11:2

“Your pride can bring you down. Humility will bring you honor.” ~ Proverbs 29:23

“Pride is the first step toward destruction. Proud thoughts will lead you to defeat.” ~ Proverbs 16:18

“Pride makes us artificial, Humility makes us real” ~ Thomas Merton

God bless you. Love you big.

©BLArticles2016

Closed from work for the day, I walked down to the parking lot to get to my car and begin my journey homeward to my beautiful family awaiting my return. I start the car, check my phones are connected to the hands free, switch on my music (Reunited by Gaither Vocal Band) and off I went. There was a little traffic and people who weren’t patient enough as usual had taken to the oncoming lane so as to sharply enter in the front. I saw them and kept of moving but the driver of the car behind me in a bid not to allow them enter her front hit me from behind and was not even sorry for doing that. I sat unhappy and angry and asked her through my side mirrors why she would hit me and she didn’t care. Now the person she didn’t want to enter her front, saw enough space and entered mine and went on his way. 

I continued my journey and before I knew it, the driver who hit me was in my front and suddenly applied her brakes. I had the opportunity to hit her and become even. My head told me to but my heart said no and I obeyed my heart and swerved to the next lane and continued homeward. It looked like all these kind of drivers maybe had a meeting and decided to be on my way home. Shortly after the initial scenario, another impatient driver had the nose of his car right in the way and faced me who had the right of way to stop and was still accusing me of trying to hit him. Thinking that was all, another who knew his house was on the right but decided to drive on the free left lane suddenly swerved to my front and turned right at his gate with the bottom of his car right in the way. I was forced to apply my brakes, wait for him to enter his gate or the other lane to be clear for me to move there. Unfortunately, he didn’t enter in time and there was a lot of traffic on the other lane, so I waited.

After the first incident, how I remained calm through the rest, I can’t explain. But one thing I learnt from everything was PATIENCE… It only takes seconds for avoidable accidents to happen. As I continued my journey, all the people who had passed me, I began to overtake them as we drove down the queue towards to the cashiers at the toll gate. God placed me on the fastest lane without struggle and I arrived home in good time.

This applies to our journey in life. I wrote in my last post that overtaking is allowed in life and we should not create unnecessary competitions for ourselves with other people. We must learn to be patient. Growing up, we were told that “The patient dog eats the fattest bone” but these days what we hear is “The patient dog gets no bone at all” because the former has become a clichè and it’s true meaning, people have decided not to believe. PATIENCE is a VIRTUE which should be coveted. Pray to God to help you grow to be patient, play your part consciously. Patience indeed brings good things one’s way. It brings Favour, it brings blessings from God and even men.

You might say, but I’ve been patient for a very very long time and I ended up losing. My dear friend, were you really patient or lazy about it? Many a times Laziness have been mistaken for patience. While being patient, you play your part, you work, you don’t just sleep or sit on your behind. You work on yourself, you work on your attitude, you work on your character and so many things that needs working on. If the water from the springs don’t make efforts to move out, would they be drinkable? I admonish you to learn to be patient with your spouse, your children, your siblings, your parents, your friends and even your acquaintances. Practice patience, live patiently with people. Impatience lands you in unnecessary and avoidable troubles.

“He that can have patience can have what he will.”  –  Benjamin Franklin

“Patience is power. Patience is not an absence of action; rather it is TIMING, it waits on the right time to act, for the right principles and in the right way.”  –  Fulton J. Sheen

©BLArticles2016

“Is there any problem between you and Bee(not real name)? I sense something isn’t going alright because when I asked Bee a question that concerned you, the response I got was a very very cold answer.” Trying to find the words from my tight throat, I was able to finally mumble out “There is nothing.” Of course the answer didn’t make the questions stop, it only gave way to more questions and the need to explain what I think should be the problem. Funny enough, prior to this day, Bee and I had laughed over a common topic of discourse and said our goodnights. So being asked this question so intently, I only came to understand and accept that somethings happen so we learn.

I am not going into details of what I think caused all these but I am going to share life lessons drawn out from these. Let us quickly remind ourselves that no two people were designed to move at the same pace in life and the moment you start to compare and compete with them, you begin to miss it. Everyone has a defined path for them, sometimes we miss it by trying to walk another’s path. The sad thing is that when you don’t achieve heights this other fellow is achieving, you begin to look for sympathies from people who are always on your side of understanding and then this fellow who doesn’t know you are competing with him/her become an enemy.

It’s not possible to walk in another’s shoes and be comfortable. So stop the competition please. You will end up missing the sweeter parts of your life because you are unhappy that in this unnecessary competition you created, you are losing so bad. It’s almost natural to be unhappy and find oneself at a point of questioning why things aren’t going as good as it is going for a friend, a colleague or a sibling. But the moment you quench that thirst for unhappiness immediately it comes, you will find out that you become genuinely happy for people doing better than you.

A night before this fateful day, my Aunt was just telling me about things like this and explaining that “how you lay your bed is how you lie on it”. Although this phrase has become a-cliché, it’s so so relevant in how we live. Let me paint this scenario for you and I need you to picture it. “Ten of you were given a room each to clean and the rule is when a room is left, you can’t go back to clean it and it would be used that way. In these rooms, there are pins on the bed which should be removed before being laid. Seeing others moving fast, you begin to rush not knowing how well they are doing. Thereby, instead of taking your time to remove all the pins you go ahead and lay the bed all because you wanted to win, when you return to sleep, who will suffer the hurt from the pins?” So why not take your time, remove the pins and who knows you will still win all the same and enjoy a nice rest on that bed.

So it is in life, take your time, clean out all that needs to be cleaned. Work on yourself and watch yourself get to that POINT you are meant to be at. Forget who and who was behind and has passed you. In this race called life, there is room for overtaking. That shouldn’t lead to low self esteem or pride or bitterness. In the end you make your self life’s victim for no reason.

Let me say this, “if you are always unhappy for people who do well or even better than you, you need JESUS!!!” Back to my story, when I got home, I began reflecting if I offended Bee in anyway, and yes I remembered I did years back when I corrected Bee about mocking people and it didn’t go down well. I apologized irrespective of it all, I didn’t claim rights, I played the fools part and moved on. Apparently, Bee never did and anytime something comes up that involves me in my absence, Bee displays how much she despise me.

You know what I started to do, I told God to give me the grace to not despise Bee too. Humanly speaking, I am justified to, but I am not living life to any man’s judgement but God’s, so I consciously pray for her that God gives her peace and bless her indeed and make her happy.

“Winning isn’t getting ahead of others, it is getting ahead of yourself.” – Roger Staubach

©BLArticles2016

Rere and Lily were acquaintances who thought that the relationship that existed between them could one day grow to friendship. Lily got married to a man she loves, so did Rere some years later. Being Wives, onlookers expected that these two would be in sync since they were having similar experiences. Unfortunately the reverse was the case. Rere who was so happy for her friend when she settled down was now the victim in this game. Lily wanted all good things to be just for her and was always unhappy when good things were happening in Rere’s life.

These caused a big strain in the growing relationship that existed between the two. Soon it became obvious to the onlookers that Lily was envious, self centered and one that wanted no good thing to happen to anyone else. She thrived on people asking her for help so she could throw it in their faces that she is better than them. She was always bitter when Rere rendered help to others humbly without blowing the horns. This caused Rere to keep away from Lily and hence they remained acquaintances and Rere was careful to keep her family and other businesses to herself.

Just like the story, it’s been observed that women are always victims of this deadly poison. The thing about envy is that a little goes a very long way and if not treated immediately, it can slowly kill its victim. I’m not saying we don’t have envy among Men, off course we do but its greatly among women. Most women do not like to see or hear that someone they know is as good as them or even better than them.

There is a phrase I love so much and have made it a part of me. It reads, “when I am genuinely happy for people around me when good things happen to them, I indirectly send a prayer to heaven to give me more reasons to be happy in Life. If the reverse is the case, the reverse prayer is sent as well”. I hear people say it is a natural thing to be envious, but why term and settle to things that are obviously wrong and call them natural. Just as scriptures states “all have sinned and come short of God’s glory”. We should always know that a man is born to naturally do wrong because its always convenient and its man’s default nature. But doing what’s right in the midst of it all is called “an upgrade”.

Envy leaves you at your default settings, but Contentment and happiness for others takes you higher. More like upgrades you. With God and a conscious confession and willingness to be happy for people, be ready to purge every last drop of envy and be content and happy when others make it. By doing these, you unknowingly send a prayer to heaven for yourself.

“Godliness with Contentment is great gain”

©BLArticles2016