Beautiful Wife Prayer Challenge

A warm welcome to “The Christian Wife’s Diary” maiden edition of “Beautiful Wife Prayer Challenge.”

Praying for my husband wasn’t something that happened to me naturally. Off course I prayed to know my husband and was very happy after we said I do. I initially didn’t see the need. Don’t get me wrong. I prayed to know my husband, I prayed for God’s blessings upon him. I prayed for his safety and all the basic desires of a married woman who loved her husband.

You and your husband are one. This truth happened after you were both declared husband and wife either at the registry, the church or even at home. Wherever, as far as God can bear witness of your union. With the constant battle on marriages, especially young ones, this challenge was born. (And will continue by God’s grace) Every woman wants a perfect man but are so quick to forget that they also want a perfect woman. But come on, is there any perfect husband or wife? Well, one thing I can boast of is a PERFECT GOD.

By the grace of God, our goal is to tell the world that there are beautiful marriages out there and that when God is the foundation, no matter the storm or the wind, you will remain, standing tall, because the maker of the storm and the wind is the foundation thus, He will withstand it.

The rate at which couples divorce one another in this present age especially amongst the young ones is on the increase. But you know what, I choose to be different and I choose to walk with God to become the wife he designed me to be. Now I challenge you to be different and walk with God to become the wife he designed you to be.

I remember talking to my new husband on a matter and it just wouldn’t work. Sometimes this lead to arguments over trivial things. I also remember when I found out that God could fix it and I couldn’t. That discovery has made me always commit everything about my husband to him. When I need to talk to my husband on a matter that I think could cause a misunderstanding, I pray about it first and when it’s time, God always make a way for it. Before I began to see God’s work on my husband, I prayed for myself. I knew I needed to be worked on because I was a handful too. I told God to break me and remold me character wise. I told him I wanted a model home and that he should start with me if I was going to build that model one. One day, I spoke as I always did and what I got was a sober apology. It didn’t click at first but then, when it clicked, all I could say was, “it can only be you Lord.”

Dear wife, how many times do we want a change to happen in our husbands and we don’t take time to see that we are also part of the problem? During this challenge, I want you to be true to yourself. I am not there with you so please be as open as possible. Tell God as it is, as you feel and as you want it. You alone know it, so tell Him.

We would be praying for ourselves for the first two days. In this prayer, you will addressing issues about you. If you are in a challenging marriage, it’s somewhat difficult and I can’t say I understand how you feel. But I can say God understands and please know that as much as God wants to come through for you, you have to be prepared too. You will be asking God to help you forgive him because without this basic foundation, hmmmm. To get the joy and see the need to pray for him, there has to be forgiveness. In general, for every wife embarking on this challenge, we have to subject our stubborn will to God and ensure we are blameless and can make this prayers from a heart full of love.

When I found out that I could ask God for anything, (mind you, God will not answer bad or selfish prayers) as regards my husband, I am constantly finding the joys and peace that God designed married life brings. While we are reminded that God knows our motives behind each prayer made, as we join this challenge, let us all PRAY ARIGHT!!!

God bless you.

©BLArticles2016

Is being DIFFERENT good or bad?

“To be nobody but yourself in a world doing its best to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle any human can ever fight and never stop fighting.” – E. E. Cummings

When I started working at my place of work, I was this young lady who would not be taken for a ride. I observed and learnt from my observations because I had to work with colleagues who had different temperaments and a mix of them. My goal through God’s help was to ensure that I had great interpersonal relationship with each one of them to the best of my power. I told myself I was going to ensure that I kept my private business private but along the line, I slipped and it cost me. When I realised I had slipped, I got up, cleaned up and asked God for help and gradually, I began to walk in the path I was supposed to.

one-red-flower-1379611-639x440When I became a Mrs, it was like a new book was issued to me to write in. I drew from the well of my observation of people around and their experiences and I learnt to separate good milk from sour milk. I chose to be me, guard my heart and family by ensuring that I knew when to speak and when to be quiet. I daily asked the Lord to help me to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to get angry. 

Does that mean, I was never angry?

No! I was angry because I was hurt often. I heard things that I was disappointed about. But I made up my mind to forgive every time and forget but learn from it.

I was spoken about. I became a topic of discussion. Why? Simply because some expected me to be somebody else and I chose to be Me. I chose to be a better Me. I chose to be different! The best way to live a beautiful life is to live it God’s way. You will not be loved by all and you probably will become a point of discussion but don’t let that disturb you. You’ll find out in the end that you made the right decision to be you and not just you but to be different.

I can’t remember how I came about this point of view or school of thought, but I am driven by these words – “People do not know what’s in your heart when you know when to keep quiet”.

Being different will cost you friends but in the end those you will have at your side will be the ones you can learn from. Also note that what you sit to hear say a lot about what will be expected from you. “A topic you will not contribute to, do not sit where it’s being discussed.” 

“Fitting in allows you to blend in with everyone else, but being different allows you to be yourself, to be unique and to be more creative.” – Sonya Parker

In my mind, this article is addressed to the young brides but every one of us can draw lessons from it by asking ourselves this questions:

  • In our day to day living, do you maintain the ‘status quo’ or you are termed different?
  • Do you do what you do because that’s what everyone does?
  • Have you ever asked why a thing is done a particular way or why people do what they do?
  • Do you know whether what is done is done out of false living or absolute pretence?

If you have answered, Yes, Yes, No, No to the questions above. That’s okay because now you know where to start from. Pick up yourself, clean yourself up and start again. It doesn’t take so much to be truly different, it takes you being tired of living your life to please others or according to their standards and choosing to walk your God designed path. It won’t be easy at first, but ask God to help you to be consistent.

It takes a decision to start something and the continuous process of doing it makes it a habit. For me, when I discovered that what I say informs my hearers for good or bad, I have learnt to know which story to tell and that not to tell. I have learnt to be truly different and its by God’s grace I am keeping on.

“Intelligent people choose their words carefully. Those who know what they are doing remain calm.” – ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭17:27‬ ‭ERV‬‬

“The person who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. The person who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever seen before.” – Albert Einstein

Dare to be different!

God bless you.

©BLArticles2016

Images: http://www.freeimages.com

Forgiveness Series: Enjoying the benefits of God’s forgiveness 

This is the last article in the forgiveness series. Kindly catch-up on parts one here and two here.

If I take a survey of those who have been forgiven by God, I am almost sure we won’t find anyone who hasn’t. That is a beautiful thing. But then if I take a survey of those living in the FULL BENEFITS, I am sure I’ll just find a handful. We have seen how important it is to forgive ourselves and forgive others. We have discussed the peace both bring to a person. And we have also discovered that forgiveness in a continuous thing.

Sometimes I wonder why the Bible talked about us forgiving first before we can get God’s forgiveness. I see it as God putting us through what he is about to go through. And the beautiful thing about this whole forgiveness experience is that when we want to count the sin of others per individual, it can’t be compared to what we alone have done to God and then we expect him to forgive us. Wow… “you asking me to do this, do what you are asking me to do for you for someone else.” 

So now let’s put our imagination to work here. Just imagine if after the first time someone asked for your forgiveness, the person says “Now I can keep offending you because the forgiveness you gave me covers it all”. How would you feel? Now, let’s put God in the picture. That we asked God for forgiveness does not give us the liberty to continue to live in our wrongdoings.

The full benefits of God’s forgiveness are endless. It gives you right to access his store with all purchases paid for. I remember doors that began to open up to me after my brokenness episode. Doors of wisdom, doors of Favour and you name it. Mind you that God has forgiven and now you can ask for anything does not mean that you will always get what you want. The motive is still going to be weighed.

A few of the people I have learnt from includes King David (a man after God’s heart), Hezekiah (15 more years) and Apostle Paul- I can’t begin to talk about this man. Please read about him. When you talk of someone who enjoyed God’s forgiveness that’s one man to discuss with.

I want you to know that it takes a lot of sacrifice on our part to continue to enjoy these benefits.

  • Sacrifice your right to shout but rather forgive.
  • Sacrifice the urge to go tell another what another did.
  • Sacrifice some time to pray for your offender.

One thing I am grateful to God is for his forgiveness which has helped me to continually forgive another and myself as at one point or the order, I err and someone err.

I invite you to enjoy the Beautiful Life filled with endless blessings which comes as a result of God’s unconditional forgiveness.

Until you read from me again. Have a forgiving month and live beautifully.

God bless you.

©BLArticles2016

Forgiveness Series: Forgiving Others

Wow, its day 2. If you are just joining in, catch-up on one here

Yesterday, we learned about self forgiveness which is just as important as forgiving others. Today we will be walking the path to forgiving others. For someone who loves to learn from people’s experiences, this area was one I learned from experience itself. Did it just happen over night? Not at all. It took years. I was hurt too much that it grew into bitterness and resentment and gradually, I began to sink into self inflicted depression because I won’t stop thinking about those hurt. The more I thought about them, the more real it felt.

This particular area was very difficult for me. If I was told earlier that I would lead a beautiful life forgiving people who have hurt me, I wouldn’t have waited so long to discover this myself. But again, thanks to “Master experience”, I am so glad I discovered it. So now I can share with you all so we can all lead the beautiful life God has designed for us all.

For years, I couldn’t face my offenders in my head and mind and so this was so difficult to come face to face. When I got the insight into praying for them, it was as though the whole world was against me and now even God was. I soaked my pillows with tears of anger and frustration and had every reason to blame. The thing about forgiving others is that you feel like a log was lifted off you when you do. To pray for my offenders was a difficult thing to do for me. I won’t come telling you, it’s as easy as 123. Truthfully it’s not. It’s like eating dry bread without water. You will feel the tightness in your throat when you are about to open your mouth and then the words would disappear. But you know what? You have to take the courage to go find your voice and let it out.

Oh that week I took every of my difficult offenders to God. I didn’t pray for anything else, just them, one after the other. Before this period of total brokenness, I always prayed for super powers to repay every offenders in their own coin. So imagine the hurt when I had to pray for them instead. I began finally after much complaints and trying to make God see reason with me and trying to justify my reason to be angry. But for everyday I prayed for them by name, speaking out loud as though they were in front of me; “I forgive you in Jesus name”. I gradually felt light and confident enough to face them.

I must say that forgiving someone’s offense can be very hard to do and the worst part is seeing your offender everyday and they do not feel any form of remorse. Another thing that can be extremely painful is if someone you trusted did it. There are so many instances when we can be so offended and resolve within us that such a person do not deserve our forgiveness. Yet we keep hearing, “To err in human and to forgive is divine” and you keep wondering how? As questionable as that quote is, it’s the blunt truth.

The truth I came to discover is that no one benefits from not forgiving another. In fact, all you end up doing when you don’t is, giving them a hold of your emotions and the power to control it as they will. They enter a room and your heart skips many beats meanwhile they don’t care or even notice you. The part that baffled me is that some people do not genuinely know they have offended us. These ones are quick to apologize immediately or even walk up to us to ask if they offended us.

Okay now, let’s discuss about those who are happy offending us and thrive in shaking our joy. Oh yes, I was a victim to these kind of people. It looked like whenever they saw me, it was the time to dance the Salsa with my emotions but I resolved in my heart that no one was gonna shake my joy no more. So instead of concentrating on the hurt, I began to push myself in the positive direction to become the better of me. And that I did by forgiving everyone of them. The interesting part is when they began to see me smile when they are around made them uncomfortable. My joy began to sip through and they became bothered even more. I took back the hold of my emotions from them and had the power to use it as I will. Oh yes!

The scope of forgiving others is too broad and cannot be shared in one day. So I’ll round up by giving you difficult practical but doable steps to walking this path. Note that it wasn’t just like a snap of finger, it was with God’s help, it was gradual and I took every step with great determination not to return to where I was coming from and I got to my new state.

Steps to learning to forgive people

  • Begin by believing that there is a good in everyone.
  • Begin to see that good in them.
  • There is an admirable quality in them, find it. (Even if it’s one)
  • Let the good in them outweigh your judgement of their bad.
  • Now imagine them as that inlaw you have to live with for peace to reign.
  • Also ask yourself what if your spouse or someone you love so much did same to you.
  • Okay now, to the question above, you would say, “I will go to God”. Fine. Now go to God about that person too.
  • Tell Him how you feel around this person and what you wish them. (Trust me I had wishes too. Not great ones)
  • Tell Him how you want to feel around this person from now on.
  • Tell Him what you cannot tell any man about that person.
  • Lastly tell Him to help you forgive before you are hurt.

The last point is a part of the prayer I make every day as an individual and with my family. The Bible says in Matthew 6:34b (AMP) “…Each day has enough trouble of it’s own.” One of it is people hurting us. Another one is in the Lord’s Prayer in Matthew 6:13a (AMP) “And do not lead us into temptation but deliver us from all evil…” People will test our forgiveness by hurting us.

Finally, just like we find peace when Christ forgives us, we also find peace when we forgive others. See you tomorrow as we conclude these series. Until then, Keep forgiving and stay beautiful.

“For if you forgive others their trespasses [their reckless and willful sins], your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others [nurturing your hurt and anger with the result that it interferes with your relationship with God], then your Father will not forgive your trespasses.” – ‭‭Matthew 6:14-15 (AMP)‬‬

“We win by tenderness. We conquer by forgiveness.” – Frederick W. Robertson

“I can forgive, but I cannot forget, is only another way of saying, I will not forgive. Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note – torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one.” – Henry Ward Beecher

“Forgiveness is the economy of the heart. Forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits.” – Hannah More

“To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.” – C. S. Lewis

God bless you.

Part 2 – Forgiveness series.

©BLArticles2016

Images: http://www.freeimages.com

Forgiveness Series – Self forgiveness

Hello and welcome to the forgiveness series.

My sincere prayer is that you will understand and find your own path to complete forgiveness thereby leading a peaceful and beautiful life. Feel free to comment, ask questions and contribute in the comments box below. Sit tight and let’s ride.

While preparing for this series, I looked up the meaning of forgiveness. I found a lot and most of them still had the word ‘forgive’ in it. One that struck me the most is the one by Merriam-Webster’s Learners Dictionary: “to stop feeling anger toward (someone who has done something wrong); to stop blaming (someone); to stop feeling anger about (something); to forgive someone for (something wrong); to stop requiring payment of (money that is owed)”.

Forgiveness is a continuous process because everyday that we live, we will always find ourselves being hurt one way or another. For today’s read, we will concentrate on ourselves.

Life gave me a full bowl of several unfair meals at an early age that caused me to sink into a place where I always hurt myself one way or anothe through my words and thoughts. Whenever I reacted negatively to a situation, I always end up beating myself up for my reaction. It can go on for days and weeks and months. I always told myself, I couldn’t be forgiven and that’s why bad things were happening. Like I mentioned before, I kept a diary of hurts. For every time I looked into it, I always believed a lie which I made my truth then. Some of you reading this, your own case may be worse than mine. Perhaps, you have done way more troubling things and you believe you don’t deserve any good because of those actions. Hey friend, you didn’t create you, and you deserve every good and perfect gift from God.

Whatever it is you have done and can’t seem to bring yourself to forgive yourself, I will share with you some biblical principles and truths so you understand that not attaining a place of self forgiveness will only rob you of the beautiful things of life.

Looking at the Lord’s Prayer in Matthew 6:12 (ERV) – “Forgive our sins, just as we have forgiven those who did wrong to us“. How many times have we prayed this prayer. Either in school or even in our homes. Or even in our everyday activities. We desire God’s forgiveness so much but yet the requirement is to forgive those who did wrong to us. Now bringing it home. How many times have we thought to forgive ourselves when we wronged ourselves and yet we expect God to forgive us? Hmmmm, I never saw it this way. Me neither before.

Let’s look at another one in Mark 11:25 (CEB) – “And whenever you stand up to pray, if you have something against anyone, forgive so that your Father in heaven may forgive you, your wrongdoings.” You may say, but I am confessing my wrong doings to God asking for his forgiveness, what do you mean I should forgive myself again. The easiest to always blame for unanswered prayers is you for your past misdeeds. When you have prayed and God doesn’t answer right away, you quickly say, it’s because I did this and that. And you know what, that is the reason you should forgive yourself. When you have forgiven yourself and you pray and experience a delay, you will not tie it to anything but believe that God wants to give you his best after all.

The thing about forgiving yourself is that, this wrong you have to forgive yourself for, many atimes is not known to anyone. Just you and God and the devil. God desires that you forgive yourself and give him a chance to live in you by asking for his forgiveness but you know what, the devil doesn’t like that so he makes you believe a lie that you cannot be forgiven and then you find it so hard to forgive yourself. Be courageous and choose to forgive yourself and enjoy every beautiful thing.

It’s not people around us who needs forgiveness alone, we need to forgive ourselves and the moment we learn to forgive ourselves completely, it wouldn’t be difficult to forgive another person. Like I said, it is a continuous process. We will always hurt ourselves but we must learn to promptly forgive us.

How do you know, you haven’t forgiven yourself?

  • When you do not like who you are.
  • When you cannot tell the person in the mirror that you love him/her.
  • When every time, you look in the mirror, you cannot but frown.
  • When people see something good in you but you see the opposite.
  • When you find yourself cursing yourself anytime challenges come your way.
  • When your response to situations is, ‘if only I had not done…”
  • The list goes on.

How can you come to a place of self forgiveness.

  • You see the man in the mirror as an imperfect creation of God who is bound to make mistakes.
  • You tell that man in the mirror that you love him and genuinely mean it. It wouldn’t be easy at first but when you do it daily and repetitively, just like someone who gets brainwashed, it sinks in and you believe it.
  • You tell the man in the mirror that you can be better and will be better.
  • You make up your mind to better yourself.
  • You go unashamed to your creator-GOD and confess everything. Remember he knows everything afterall. Tell him, you forgive yourself through his help. It’s okay to cry about it. Vent it all out to him.
  • Everyday, remind yourself that the past is the past and the man in the mirror is a new man.
  • Claim the promises of God as you daily search scriptures.
  • Always and I mean ALWAYS fall back to God.

When you have done this and more, join me tomorrow as we talk about forgiving others. Remember, it’s easier to learn to forgive others, when we have learnt to forgive ourselves. It’s easier to learn to love others when we have learnt to love ourselves.

Until you read from me tomorrow, go to the man(not limited to the male folks but everyone) in the mirror and tell him how much you love him and that you have chosen to forgive him and let God. In the end, Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself – Suzanne Somers

“To forgive others, you must forgive yourself first”. – Debasish Mridha

“You cannot travel back in time to fix your mistakes, but you can learn from them and forgive yourself for not knowing better”. – Leon Brown

“You forgive yourself for every failure because you are trying to do the right thing. God knows that and you know it. Nobody else may know it”. – Maya Angelou 

“When you forgive, you in no way change the past – but you sure do change the future”. – Bernard Meltzer

God bless you.

Part 1 – Forgiveness Series

©BLArticles2016

Images: http://www.freeimages.com

Usher YOU and YOURS – November edition.

Hello everyone.

Welcome to another edition of these series.

This edition is a timely one and I bless God we are all able to participate in this exercise. Before I go on, please if you have been blessed and have truly seen the hand of God upon your life and that of your family since you began this exercise, please bless another by sharing this with them. 

I remember praying for days for the Lord to give me a theme. October theme came together with September but For November, it was as though God had gone silent on me. “People are looking forward to this Lord, do not disappoint them”, was my prayer and he indeed answered.

For those in Nigeria, the Federal Government announced that we are in recession. That is a fact. That is the truth but I choose to live by God’s truth. So without much story, we would be going straight to business. Key in, pray for yourself and your family members too.

Find below 11 specific prayer points.

Kindly read the Bible verses so you are praying with an understanding.

Matthew 6:33.  Father I(we) have come to seek you today, I(we) ask that all that I(we) will need in the month of November is ours in Jesus name. Amen.

James 1:17. Father every good gift, everything that is perfect for me and my family. I ask that as I(we) call upon you today, you will hear from heaven and give them to me in Jesus name. Amen.

Joel 2:26. Father every uncomfortable situation that this recession has brought to me and my family. I(we) rely on your promise of restoration and by faith I(we) receive all and more from you and I(we) will have all that we need and want in Jesus name. Amen.

Psalm 65:9-12. Father you who showers the earth with rain and causes the grassland of the wilderness to flourish without anyone’s consent or approval, I(we) receive the rain of your blessings upon me and my family without notice and without anyone’s consent and approval in Jesus name. Amen.

Deuteronomy 28:12. In this month of November and beyond, bless the works of my(our) hands. Send your rain upon my land (family-mention name). I(we) live by your word that I(we) shall not borrow but lend to many nations. Father give me(us) more than enough to not just lend but to give without expecting anything in return in Jesus name. Amen.

Psalm 37:19. Father, my family and I will not be disgraced because we will have more than enough. Even when times are hard, we receive your overflow in Jesus name. Amen.

2 Corinthians 9:8. (Replace ‘you’ with your name/family’s name) Father I(we) receive your generous provision of all we need in this month of November and always. I(we) have everything I(we) need and plenty to share to others in Jesus name. Amen.

When you read the story of Joseph and his brothers, The wisdom of God upon Joseph was the reason there was plenty in Egypt during the famine and this was where his family ate from. Father I(we) ask that you give me(us) godly wisdom to know how to save and prosper in the New month in Jesus name. Amen. 

Proverbs 3:9-10. Lord as I(we) sow in your house towards your kingdom, bringing in all our tithes and offerings. I(we) decree that I(we) shall not lack anything but live in plenty in Jesus name. Amen.

Giving is a way of sowing too. It’s not right when you find out that those who demand your help (especially family members) do so to satisfy their wants meanwhile a need of yours was sacrificed. Father I(we) refuse to pay anothers’ debt brought about by lack of self control. I(we) refuse to satisfy anothers’ unreasonable wants. I(we) ask that they will not know our door steps. Disallow the devourers entrance into my(our) family. Give me insight to know when to give and when not to in Jesus name.

Lastly, pray for yourself. Father while I(we) wait in the fulfillment of your word, I(we) will not be a burden to anyone and we will know when we truly need a thing or want a thing simply to show off. Take pride from us as you bless us in Jesus name. Amen.

Pray all other prayer points for you and your family as you are led.

Father for everyone who has prayed this prayers, all other requests raised to heaven and for those who couldn’t because of one thing or the other, we use ourselves as a point of contact to them and we ask that you do much more than they can imagine for them and their families in Jesus name. Amen.

We will make our home, your home and according to Psalm 36:8, we will continually feast from the bounty of your house and drink from the river of pure joy this month and always in Jesus name. Amen.

Father, we shall not be stranded, we will be lifted and stay lifted in Jesus name. Amen.

God bless you and Happy new month in Advance.

Remain in God’s love and Mrs O’ loves you big.

©BLArticles2016

The Pounded Yam has plenty ‘KOKO’

Woke up one beautiful morning during the weekend and decided that we were going to eat pounded yam. Nothing was going to change my mind on this decision. I didn’t have soup prepared and there was no yam too. My baby sis asked me how we were going to eat pounded yam. I had no answer but I had a plan working itself out in my head.

Fast forward to time to prepare. I looked in my freezer and everything I needed to make my soup was available and so we got to work and boom! Soup was ready. While preparing the soup, I dialed my boyfriend and told him to help buy a piece of yam on his way home. He obliged and yam became available. I immediately sliced, peeled, diced it and put it to cook.

Thirty minutes into cook time, yam was still strong. 45 mins it was still cooking. I checked to see if it was soft, and it wasn’t. You would wonder if I was cooking a stone. Everyone started getting impatient and I also was becoming angry at the yam. Finally I got to touch some soft pieces but because of my impatience, I didn’t check enough to see that some weren’t. I poured yam into my mixing bowl and began mixing and those tough ones wouldn’t break. Or rather they broke into small pieces but wouldn’t fold in. I ended up having pounded yam with plenty koko(I don’t know the exact definition but they are pebble like. Just imagine having seeds in mashed potatoes, that’s the best explanation I can make of ‘koko’)

Ah ha, trust my boyfriend whose traditional meal is pounded yam and he was a fan of it before marrying this his northern bred. He just stared at me and my pounded yam and I began explaining myself. Because we were hungry, we ate it all. It was not a smooth eating  because of the koko, but we did anyway. And this is the end of part 1 of my ‘yam story’ as this article isn’t about my yam. Read on, I am getting somewhere.

For some of us, we are so hungry for power or position or even success that we wouldn’t mind the ‘koko’ served in our dish of life. The need to satisfy these pangs of hunger end up giving us an uncomfortable ride and because of how desperate we are to satisfy this hunger, we take it anyway. You have so made up your mind on a thing and would do anything to ensure you achieve it even if it’s sinful and uncomfortable as a child of God.

I could have been flexible. I could have just prepared some semolina or poundo yam. But I decided to put everyone through an uncomfortable meal time because I had a made up mind. The deliciousness of the soup didn’t make the ‘koko’ any less or any palatable. Making up one’s mind is not wrong at all. But what is the motive behind it. Why put others in an uncomfortable position because your decisions must rule.

These, my dear friend has wrecked beautiful homes, blossoming friendship and even a thriving professional life. When I discovered the yam was taking forever to cook, I should have known that was a clear “find an alternative” but nah, I followed through. You hit a rock the first time and have a swollen head, but you wouldn’t wait to see in between the lines. You keep going and going till you are scarred and uncomfortable to enjoy what you decided to get by all means.

When things do not go as planned, be flexible enough to take another route. Sometimes it’s obvious we aren’t heading anywhere but we go anyway. Other times, it obvious we are hurting people with that decision but we go ahead anyway. Know when you are being led and when your head is making your mind not to yield. Sometimes funny enough, it’s pride. Yes I said it. “How would they see me if I change my mind”. Okay now that you didn’t and went through, how do they see you?

Can they see your effort and say, “thanks for going out of your way” or all they see is a selfish person who doesn’t care.

Next time when you are overwhelmed by a tough situation, find the WORD, the INSTRUCTION, the MAP and that OPPORTUNITY.

So today as you end this long read, check yourself as I am doing same and find the ‘in between lines’.

You will see the beauty that can come out from it all.

If only I went for semolina or poundo yam, what a beauty that would have been to behold and indulge in the well mixed ‘swallow’ sitting beside the appetizing bowl of soup.

Be encouraged, because things sometimes do not go our way not because God hates us but because it may not turn out well.

“What would you do if you couldn’t do what you want?’-“Something else.”” ― Marty Rubin

“A flexible mind has a better chance to think differently and take a unique path in the life journey.” – Pearl Zhu 

©BLArticles2016

The breath of Fresh Air

Anyone here who has never been hurt?


Hmmmm. Smiling as I write this article because I can remember where I am coming from. If you are reading this and currently struggling with letting go of that hurt or contemplating on whether you should forgive or not, please read on.

I look at me in the mirror everyday and tell myself,

“Phebe, you are beautiful!!!”

Vain right? But that confession and affirmation keeps me going every day. I have had to grow up faster than people in my age group because of what life threw my way at a young age. 

Do I wish it any other way? 

“NO!!! I am thankful to God because it didn’t break me, instead it molded me.”

I had a dated dairy to write down all the hurts and many of them had one positive confession or other at the end. I wrote those confessions because I wanted to prove a point to the one who had hurt me. Not acknowledging or understanding the power of forgiveness, I held unto my dairy of hurts and constantly opened and read from it to remind myself of the hurts. 

Did it make me feel any better? 

“NO!!! It only took me to a place of bitterness. Been a deep thinker, I would sit down and imagine things and then I will return back to my world of reality only to find the hurt still there.”

My world of great imagination made me feel better but it didn’t take away the hurt. And it didn’t stop me from getting hurt even more. When I finally decided I was ready to let go, I thought telling them how much they hurt me would maybe somehow make them apologize. But some did and some didn’t. Instead they went on to hurt me again.

Bitterness and unforgiveness puts a blindfold on anyone who is under its hold. You don’t get to see past the hurt you feel. It eats its victim and strips them of anything that brings joy. All you end up seeing beyond your nose is the one who did you wrong. I remember getting so tired and crying my heart out to God to help me forgive all those who hurt me. I took my time to mention everyone of them by name while I told God I forgive them.

Every day I prayed, I always mentioned all my offenders to God and I forgave them. As the days went, I began to feel light and light till I got my joy back and good God I got it back over and over. As I grew up and my relationship with God grew intimate, I learned to forgive before I am hurt. 

Is it that easy? 

“NO!!! You need the help of God.”

Be aware that not all offenders would apologize to you when you tell them you are hurt by what they either said or did. What do you do in this situation? “From experience, I’ve learnt to always ask God if I need to talk to the offender and this is after I have forgiven them in my heart prayerfully.” Let the wisdom of God guide you to take the best route in your walk towards forgiveness.

Forgiveness is a choice, and the decision to forgive is yours to make. I can only tell you that forgiving someone who has done you wrong will give you peace. This is where you put the “Lord’s prayer” (Matthew 6:9-13) to practical use. Sometimes I wonder if I had to be punished for every wrong doing, how that would turn out. God forgives and he desires that we who say we know and love him do likewise. 

Does it mean no one will ever hurt me? 

“NO!!! They will still hurt you but when you ask God to help you, forgiving them will become natural to you because you have the nature of your maker – God.”

“Forgiveness is to your heart and soul as fresh air is to your body on a sunny day.” – Phebe Olaniran

“Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting.” – William Arthur Ward

“To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.” – Robert Muller

Join me from 1st – 3rd November as I will be sharing on the Forgiveness Series : Forgiving yourself, Forgiving others and Enjoying the benefits of God’s Forgiveness.

God bless you and keep you.

©BLArticles2016

Images: http://www.freeimages.com